Should Everyone Be Parents? No.

I grew up with very extreme traditional examples of what a mother and a father’s roles were. The fathers being a strong protective and disciplinary figure while the mothers being in a more nurturing and caring. These traits are perfectly normal, if they are at the right amount. During my childhood it wasn't, but I didn't know that.  Although this is a very personal matter for me which I won’t go into many details and most of you may not be interested, I have to write about it.

My mother grew up poor in a small village with a loving family. She always told me that they never had violent arguments. I think this attributed to many things about her parenting.  She gave us love but not discipline. My father on the other hand was completely different…

He had grown up in a strictly religious family where his father had verbally and physically abused him often. My grandfather never showed any sort of affection towards his children as he thought that it would spoil them.  My father also has trouble showing his love towards us and sometimes does it violently (maybe) without meaning it.

Now imagine these two people getting married and having children.  The reason I’m writing this is because of current events in my life have made me question. What are the roles of parent? Does each parent have a different role? And etc.

My opinion on this is that, not everyone should have children. Physical well being or just being able to reproduce shouldn't be enough. You should be mentally prepared and healthy for when that child comes. In my experience, both of my parents had light to severe psychological problems. And so, I also have these problems. But these problems can be fixed.  Think before you have children, it’s not just your own life you’re affecting…

My Experience of Being Needy In A Relationship

 It's the one thing that is advised of in all relationships: DON'T BE NEEDY. I, myself on countless occasions have given the same suggestion to many of my friends. And I, myself have been objected to receiving the exact same words from the mouth of the exact same friends. That's what got me thinking, about the relationship I'm in at the moment. It raised many questions: Why am I so needy? Why do I always need his approval? Why do I always have to be constantly reminded of his affection for me?

The number one reason for this is LACK OF CONFIDENCE. The reasons vary on a large scale for different people.
  My justifications fall into the classic category of the fact that I never had a good relationship with my father, so now I have trouble maintaining a relationship with any man. But I let this eat at me and fill me with resentment towards a person that normally doesn't deserve the blame for my father's actions. I have the silly notion that every guy that walks into my life is a spitting image of my Dad, and will hurt me just like he did my Mother.
 Soon, my partner became resentful of me, because I was holding hi responsible for something he had never done. It became tiring on him to the point that he wasn't even trying anymore. He had lost interest in the relationship and it was my fault.

  The second reason for my downfall was I wasn't doing anything I liked at all. I was living what I call an EMPTY LIFE. I loved him, God yes, but I wasn't focusing on anything other that him. He became the center of my universe. My whole being revolved around him and I felt bitter when it wan't mutual. I had no hobbies, I didn't hang out with any friends and I spent no time on myself. I loved him so much, and it drove me crazy. I was a ticking time bomb ready to explode at any moment.
  But soon I started working out, starting new hobbies and spending alone time to relax. The more time I spent on myself doing what I loved, the less I felt "obsessed" with him. It also did wonders for my confidence.

  The last reason for my trying to mess up a good relationship links closely to the first reason, I felt that I was UNDESERVING OF LOVE, of anybody's love. Like I mentioned the reasoning behind mine was family issues. I had never felt loved by my father, and I felt guilty for it. Like I was a bad person or something. But I'm not. It was never my fault he was a shitty father who was never around and always cheated on my mom. It was never my fault he wanted a boy so when he found out I was a girl he never held me at my birth.

  My relationship, or lack of it, with my father is a story for another day. My main objective for this article though I may not have stated it properly was to point that you don't need anyone in you life if you don't want them, and that unless you learn to be independent and happy with yourself no one, I repeat no one can do these things for you. You will try to make them do it for you, but they won't because they can't. You can. So start today.

Get Long Curly Hair

Most women like myself, lust for long locks  .. For women with curly hair like myself, it requires a lot of patience. Maybe twice as much.The amount that I play with the shape and width of my curls is unimaginable. I abuse my hair but generally we are all sinners in that area. However if you want those ringlets to get longer you have to make some sacrifices.

 You guys have to trust me on this one when I say it. My hair is the most easily damaged type of medium curly hair imaginable. It breaks faster than a cheap hair curler and is most likely drier than my wallet (oh, lame joke). From my experience the main thing about getting curly hair to grow longer is to AVOID BREAKAGE. At all costs you must try to keep your hair from breaking off. Got it?


 1)Cut Those Split Ends (If Necessary):
  "Isn't the whole point of this post to get LONGER hair?" I know, I know. But honey, your hair is gonna end up shorter from the breakage if you don't get rid of those dead ends. You don't have to trim if your hair is not that broken if you don't feel like it. But it's always better to be safe than sorry!
    This happened to a friend of mine who straightened her hair excessively and it obviously damaged her hair. Eventually those long beautiful tresses of hair that reached mid-waist length, broke off all the way to her shoulders. If you messed your hair up, you don't have to go to great lengths, just get those ends trimmed before it's too late! Speaking of straighteners and damage...

2)Ease up on the heat:
This tip is mighty obvious and expected. Nothing ruins hair faster and more than heat. I love my curling iron, I will confess. But using too much heat will cause your hair to break off. And remember our main rule? That's right, heat causes breakage and LOTS of it.
  Try to use heat less frequently like once a week or so, if you don't want to completely give it up.

3)Change Your Scrunchies:

  For the last two years I've been wearing my hair naturally with minimal heat, and my hair was still breaking. It was frustrating!  I didn't know this at the time, but the elastics that I used ruined my ends. Stay away from elastics that snag on your hair. And, you know those ones with metal? When you see them, run for the door.
 Buy soft, simple elastics. There are some snag-free elastics especially made for curly hair on sale, but I just buy the ones I see at local stores. Just make sure they are SOFT and won't snag your hair and you'll be fine.

4)Feed! Feed! Feed!
  Curly hair is prone to dryness. Don't expect to get good results from dry, brittle hair. There are a large selection of cheap, home-made, and ready-made hair masks and conditioners to choose from. Whatever floats your boat, my loves.

5)Don't Wash Your Hair Everyday:
 At first this sounds disgusting: I've found that skipping a day actually balanced my hair out a great deal. Washing your hair everyday can end up drying your hair out. We need those natural oils too ladies!

6)Lubricate Your Ends:
  This is my biggest and most important tip. I swear by this. Like I've mentioned before my hair is very dry and it needs to be treated very delicately. This tip was a lifesaver for me.
 Now remember you don't have to oil or lubricate your whole head of hair. You could if you wanted to, but you don't have to and I don't like the feel of oil near my roots. So, I only put oil on the ends of my hair. I'm currently using sesame oil. I don't drench my hair in it, I just try to soften my ends with it.
 You guys don't have to use sesame oil like me. There are a wide variety of oils to choose from. Just try to use whatever works for you. Almond and avocado are my second and third favorites if you guys are lost, and want some suggestions or advice.



Remember guys: No matter how long your hair is, it will look bad if it's unhealthy. Try to focus on having healthy hair in the meantime, since it's gonna grow whether you like it or not anyways.